There is no other way to inner freedom than being who you were meant to be.
Most of us will learn this the hard way. Through suffering when we are trying to be like we think others want us to be. We dress like we think we should and we chose a career because others told us that this is the right path for us.
I have been struggling with this myself. It’s hard for me to tell apart what I really want and what I am doing because of what I think I should. This affected every part of my life, from my clothing style to my career choices.
don’t force yourself to be something you’re not
Let me tell you a story about how important it is to do things because YOU want to. I have always wanted to be a writer, and since primary school, I have known that I would never want to work in an office or any sort of 9 to 5 job. After finishing my studies, I finally had enough time to work on my writing projects. But I noticed something: Over the years I had lost some of my passion for writing.
Why? Because I was forcing myself to write about things that I didn’t care about. That was what I had learned at university. That there is a good kind of literature and a cheap kind which includes most genres. So, I didn’t dare to write the fantasy stories that really inspired and excited me.
Instead, I tried to write realistic fiction like other authors I know. And it killed my drive to write. So much that I almost thought that I just didn’t like writing anymore and should stop trying.
focus on who you want to become
When you are so deep in it, it’s hard to see what you want and who you are. You only see the image of how you think you should be. You easily forget who you want to be. And mostly, when you try to fit into something that is not you, you suck at it and that feels even worse. I tried so hard to write those stories I didn’t care about and, of course, I sucked at it. Simply, because I never cared enough to actually become good at it. I also didn’t identify with what I was doing. Which led to me not appreciating the outcome.
So, I came to the following realization: if I want to be free to do what I love, I have to give up the false ideals I set myself in order to please others. It might be scary to write fantasy literature and share my crazy universe with the world, but that’s what I love and care about. That is me.
good old fear of rejection
It’s always scary to show who you really are. What if you get rejected? It’s less risky to play a role. Because you won’t care so much if someone doesn’t like you. You can still tell yourself: they don’t even know me the way I am. Showing what you care about means showing vulnerability. But if you don’t do it you will miss out on yourself and the amazing life that was meant for you. Only you can give yourself inner freedom.